The Caregiver in Your Life Needs Help—Here’s What to Do
“This is an issue we need to keep our eyes on as our nation continues to grapple with the growing demand for unpaid, untrained caregiving for older adults and for people with disabilities and serious health needs,” said Florence Johnson, assistant professor in the University of Michigan School of Nursing. “Our poll shows that 23% of all people over 50, including many who are already caregivers for one or more adults, may lack family or friends to help them if they needed support with health needs. But they may not know where or how to find services.”
That’s where you come in. To be a true help to a caregiver, you need to have a plan in place. Many people are happy to say, “Let me know how I can help!” But think about it: When you say this, what you’ve really done is give an already thinly stretched caregiver another task—come up with something for you to do. To truly help a caregiver, we need to be proactive and direct.
Here are some substantial ways you can help a caregiver in your life.
Do the research for them. Like the poll revealed, many caregivers don’t even know where to start looking for support or services that could help lighten the load. Find your local Area Agency on Aging and look up options for adult day programs and respite care services in their area. Be sure to include contact information, associated costs, and any available financial assistance programs.
Take something off their plate—without asking. Pick a recurring task and just do it. Mow the lawn, drop off groceries, handle the pharmacy run, or cook a few freezer-friendly meals. Send a gift card for their favorite restaurant. The key is to act without waiting to be asked. Consistency matters too—a one-time gesture is kind, but showing up regularly can be transformative.
Give them a real break. Caregiver burnout is real, and one of the most valuable gifts you can offer is time away. Offer to sit with their loved one for a few hours—or a full day—so the caregiver can rest, run errands, exercise, or simply exist outside of their caregiving role. Make it a standing arrangement if you can.
Handle the communication they don’t have time for. When a loved one is ill or struggling, family and friends often want updates, which ironically creates more work for the caregiver. Offer to be the point of contact. You can send group texts, manage a CaringBridge page, or field calls so the caregiver can focus on what matters most.
Show up emotionally, not just practically. Caregiving can be profoundly isolating. Make time to check in—not just about how their loved one is doing, but about how they are doing. Listen without offering unsolicited advice. Acknowledge how hard the role is. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is remind a caregiver that they are seen.
Help them think ahead. Many caregivers are so focused on getting through the day that planning for the future feels impossible. If you have skills in finance, legal matters, or healthcare, offer to help them understand options like power of attorney, long-term care planning, or Medicare and Medicaid benefits. Even helping them organize important documents can be a meaningful gift.
Being a true support to a caregiver takes intention, but it doesn’t require grand gestures. Show up consistently, act without waiting to be asked, and remember that behind every person receiving care is someone quietly holding everything together—and they need care too.